The Future – It Scares Me

Lately I’ve been forced to think about my future.

Where do I want to go?

What do I want to do?

Who do I want to be?

The worst part is that although these questions are important, I don’t really have an answer to them. At my age (not even graduated from college), how am I supposed to know what I want to do? Especially because you here so often of people hating their job. That is a huge fear of mine. I’m going to go in the direction I thought I wanted, and hate it. Then (depending on that point), it could even be to late to change the direction. My life, and everyone else’s too, is filled with so many “what if’s” that I’m not even certain of what  I want to do in the future.

Let’s reflect on everything I’ve wanted in life (career wise):

I’m pursuing a degree in Nutrition, with the hopes of getting a Dietetic Internship and ultimately becoming a Registered Dietitian. Originally I wanted to work clinical, with patients like my brother, and help them. Then I realized I’m not emotionally ready to do that for my whole life, and I thought maybe the nutrition education route and working with health promotion/disease prevention. Or maybe I’d like to work food service, which actually wouldn’t be super awful, I’ve definitely had some practice with this aspect.

Now I’m trying to get everything together to begin to prepare myself to apply to these Dietetic Internships. But now I’m realizing, I don’t have enough RELEVANT experience, or good enough of a GPA for this. And I’m starting to think I’ve even picked the wrong major. One of my favorite classes (although definitely the most boring) this semester is one called “Management Practice in Dietetics”. Basically, business for nutrition majors. And for some reason, I’m actually doing pretty well in the class. I actually understand what is going on. Don’t get me wrong, I like nutrition, I’m just not super amazing at all the science parts of it.

So lately I’ve been thinking that I went in the wrong direction. Maybe it’s just a phase, but something I would love to do is work in fashion, either on the magazine side, or the corporate side of fashion retailers. I’ve worked in retail for the past few years, and honestly I really enjoy it. I mean it’s annoying when you’ve fixed a pile of clothing and then a customer comes and decides they need the one on the bottom of the pile, and within 2 seconds you have to fix the pile again. But I actually enjoy it. I’m not sure what it is. Maybe it’s simply the interaction with people, or maybe it’s transforming the store between seasons. Or maybe for some crazy reason, I actually love working in retail.

So the saga of this post is, I’m not certain if I’m going to be happy with my decisions for after I graduate. And that’s what scares me the most. At this point, I’m obviously going to continue to pursue my nutrition degree and hope for a DI, but I still want to work in magazines or retail.

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